Sensual memory...

We were thirteen. We were vulnerable. And it hit us that night when she plunged to the floor along side her father’s hospital bed. Her eyes were dry red; her face, dilapidated; her body, insensate. Her soul felt disserted as if she was the one who died. She had the smell of sweet refined artificial sugar in her hair from the day before, when her dad drove us to the candy store. And now I found her lying on the cold floor, drowning herself in the wake of her tears. She slowly got up as if she had a heavy weight upon her back and as she rose, she was trounced by the weight and fell back down, this time on top of him. She was anomic. She was this crude dark mass trying to configure herself to fit into a pure white bed of which her father now coalesced perfectly into. The sheets were now stained from her loss. Looking down with blank stare shaking from my nerves I became garbled. I prayed, but it appeared to be just as small as the intensive care room we found ourselves trapped in. The room was oppressive. As soon as I stepped inside I had trouble standing as if the gravitational pull was dragging us down to hell. The smell was ghastly. It smelled like a loss. And I stood there watching. There were no words. Just a barren face and vacant mind. I had never seen anyone die before. And in one night I witnessed three. Two young hearts and one soul. It was the bloodcurdling thing in the world. I never envisaged that a few years later I would be back, this time, on my own father’s bed. But, my prayer was larger than the room.


Dilapidated: adj; to reduce or to fall
Insensate: adj; without feeling
Trounced: verb; beat over by someone or something
Anomic: adj; alone, unstable
Coalesced: verb; merge or united together
Garbled: verb; confused or disoriented
Oppressive: adj; highly stressful or dominating harshly
Ghastly: adj; horrifying, shocking
Bloodcurdling: adj; arousing extreme fear
Envisaged: verb; foresee something, consider or visualize

Living. My hypnopaedia movie is essentially about life. What we, as individuals, consider life and what characteristics make life up. Contrary to Brave New World, each and everyone of us view the meaning or the importance of life differently. We all strive to find something to live for whether that be insanity or even peace. If there was nothing to live for the very idea of living would be moot.